I once heard a speaker tell a story about why some of us are so super sensitive to life. I’ll paraphrase for you:
When our Higher Power is mass producing us in the human-making factory, the final step on the production line is to add the laminate. Although each person comes complete with the physical body, a soul, a brain, emotions, and feelings, a special laminate is applied as a final measure of protection for durability. This laminate is also known as perception. It works the same way as laminating a refinished coffee table. If it is applied to the newly refinished wood, it will keep the table from scaring or staining as easily as it would if left without lamination. Unfortunately and unbeknownst to the Maker, there is a glitch in the factory line. It seems that the lamination process only works on 9 out of 10 humans. Approximately every 10th person is released without lamination. The missing lamination is, therefore, the missing perception that some folks are lacking. This explains why there is a small part of our population who perceive danger and conspiracy lurking behind every door, around every corner.
Yes, yes… I realize it seems a bit fantastical. However, to hear it as a storybook tale is much easier on the soul than to go on believing that maybe it’s just me. Am I just defective? Yes, in a sense, we are defective, but only mildly so, if we take care not to let it get the best of our minds.
All of this was brought about by a single phone call to the credit card company to find out why I was unable to use my card even though I had paid the payments and owed nothing. I was trying to tell my sad tale to the guy on the other end and he kept talking, getting increasingly louder as I kept talking, getting increasingly louder. This was after I had been on hold awhile, twice because the first rep disconnected me after only a few minutes of discussion. My underlying anxiety was increasing by the minute as I thought: they could cut me off, again, and there’s not a damn thing I could do. EPIPHANY! There it is: a lack of control over a given situation. See, it wasn’t a conspiracy after all. I was not disconnected on purpose just because the rep did not like what I was telling her…the 2nd guy was probably not talking louder to drown me out, well, okay, he was, but probably because I may have interrupted him first. Anyway! Point: it’s about my perception of the situation, not the situation. Every single fucking time. It always comes back to me.