When my Mother says: “Okay, Scarlett” I know that she is giving up yet another valiant attempt at convincing me to take care of something that needs to be done in a timely manner. Usually, it is something like taxes or car tags. Things I call “administrative” and am notoriously guilty of not doing at all, much less with any consistency. To me, administrative means it will require one or all of the following: paperwork, payment, phone call with multiple transfers and menus, snail mail, and/or stamps. Hence, my bills are not usually paid on time, even though I might have money in the bank. Yes, I am aware of scheduled payments and automatic drafts. These are amazing tools! For me, they’re like power tools: very cool, for everyone else. I do not know how to make them work for me, yet. (Although, learning how to use power tools is in the top 5 on my bucket list!)
So, yes, I exhibit what I have come to know as Scarlett thinking…
When my Mother calls me Scarlett, it means I have succeeded in procrastinating for another day. Or, as my mind processes it, I have successfully escaped torture for another day. Sometimes, I worry about the state of my brain because I am not able to engage in whatever task is necessary to complete these seemingly innocuous tasks. By the time I quote the familiar refrain that “I will think about it tomorrow”, my brain has been long gone. It is truly surreal, an out-of-body experience.
After being diagnosed with ADHD, I read everything I could find. It was a huge relief to discover that the primary impact was the Executive Function area of the brain. The part of the brain that performs the administrative tasks. These simple and important tasks that 90% of the population can perform without much thought are often overwhelming for those of us without the Executive Functioning tools necessary. Imagine that 90% of the population has the proper tools and instruction needed to change flat tires. Now, imagine that the other 10% had the instructions on how to change the tires, but not the tools. Stretch a little further to imagine that even though there is not an equal distribution of tools, the expectation is that 100% of the population will complete the task with similar results.
All of this leads back to Scarlett thinking… I get overwhelmed and resistant, consequently shutting down my brain. I will commit, again, to at least thinking about it tomorrow.