Nearing the end…

Just a few more weeks and I will be about 9 hours shy of my Masters.  Unfortunately, I have contracted a severe case of the “fuckits” over the last 10 days.  I’m just exhausted.  Every assignment feels like a conspiracy.  Lol.  Which, I guess goes back to “I’m just exhausted”.  I’m looking forward to Spring Break in a couple of weeks, of course, but feel like I need to take a break before then to somehow rejuvenate.  One of my sponsees suggested that I practice some of that “self-care” I’m always recommending {simultaneous sigh + eye roll while resisting the urge to say “I know, I know”}.

An interesting new connection on LinkedIn was the highlight of my week.  I had to do a presentation on the Internet of Things for class and in my research, I came across the guy that originally coined the concept and the term back in 1985.  His name is Peter T. Lewis.  I found him on LinkedIn and extended an invitation to connect which he immediately accepted and event sent a nice note.  Among other things, he said that I have a “strategic education mix”… hmph.  So, there ya go.  I like how he put that and told him so.  It’s nice to meet nice people who do not mind just talking.  Like, sans the business-speak.  Kind of rare on LinkedIn. 😉

I’ve also started another “prepper” book series.  This is about the 5th one since the elections.  I’ve seen about 3 hours TOTAL of the news since 11:00p.m., November 8, 2016.  Probably 8 hours of Facebook.  Instead, I’ve built my audible collection and recently attained “Masters Level” listener status.  I think I can even get a badge or something – maybe I will now that I have my own site to post it. The series I’m listening to now is about an event that takes place in 2020.  Ironically, my IoT presentation opened with “there will be 50 billion devices connected to the Internet by 2020”.  I wonder if…  I’ll think about that later.

Goals:  Hamm radio license, finish grad school, overcome fuckits, buy guns to start up old hobby.

I used to love shooting.  My stepfather was an ex-Marine and we shot targets and cleaned guns and learned to ride horses as kids.  He was an amazing Dad.  When I moved to San Francisco, I left them behind, then, never got around to replacing later.  It’s past that time.

One thing about grad school that has really paid off:  I was looking for something that would keep me focused and grounded (read=distracted) when my daughter went off to college.  It worked!

Night all…

Lesson learned

My study partner is 23 years old.  She is shy and afraid of saying, doing, thinking anything that MIGHT make someone mad or hurt their feelings.  So much more.  She is desperate to find out “what’s wrong” with her but has no clue about where to start.  She’s miserable.  I just looked at her and said that it’s not HER.  It was the way she viewed things, her perception.  As I was listening to her this morning, I realized that, even though I still find myself in the same situation, at least today I know what to do to get better.  I have the solution.  I remember that misery.  Thinking it was just me.  Our conversation brought a huge dose of gratitude for the accumulation of knowledge and wisdom that I have learned over the years.  I recommended the classic “Co-Dependent No More” by Melody Beattie.  It was the first book that changed me.  The fact that I recommended a book and didn’t offer to “help” her read it is amazing progress on my part!  Lol!

Finding my opinion

I just always thought that by the time I’m in my 50’s, I would know what my opinion was on pretty much everything.  Well, I never actually thought I would live to be in my 50’s until I was around 45ish and realized that it may actually happen.  I’ve always expressed my opinions and was adamant about my convictions.  Now, I think I’ve just come to not care as much.  If I cannot decide what I really feel about something, I just opt to dismiss it, or them.  Sounds harsh, but I’m talking Facebook people, not actual friends.  Mostly over politics.  I think I’m still in a mild depression and barely emerging from my shock and dismay.  I am comforted by the thought that I am in the midst of another change in my life.  Another path that is waiting.  As long as I remember to stay in today and not try to formulate a “life plan” or something equally drastic, I am okay.  My daughter left for her freshman year in college last Fall and I started grad school.  I love all that I am learning but the pace is excruciating.  This blog will be my escape.  My journal.  I’m not making many meetings these days and need a place to visit with like-minded people.

First blog post

I need a place to bring all areas of my life together.

  • in recovery
    • sponsor
    • sponsee
  • a grad student for Master of Science in Business Information Systems
    • working as a GA
  • a daughter
  • a mother
  • a sister
  • living with Michael
  • board member of nonprofit doing fundraising & social media (recovery home)
  • political junkie
  • devotee (scholar level achieved, only 8 hours before Masters!)

So, yeah, I’m starting my own blog as a way to keep all of my diverse interests and life experiences in one place.  If you read my blog and get something helpful, please feel free to pass it on if you think it can help someone.  If you read it and disagree, you can certainly let me know, but I will not be responding until my schedule slows down.  I love to discuss, debate, disagree, fall in love, giggle, be silly, be somber…but school comes first right now.

Intellectual arrogance.  Yes, I have been accused of being afflicted.  I do not like that it’s true sometimes.  I will be actively seeking humility on here, to counteract the arrogance.

Welcome to my online journal.

Mary Diane